A Typical Day In war (Yemen)

So we've been in a hotel for quite a while now due to the war that’s happening in my country. Yesterday we went back home to cook some food because we’re tired from the food we buy outside. We made a stop in Dhamaran supermarket while me and my mother were rushing around to grab the stuff we needed, a missile hit and the entire place shook. I can see my mum getting scared. A few seconds later Adam my brother came and at that moment another missile hit.. Mum freaking out telling us to drop everything and leave but me and my Adam of course calmed her down.

We found everything we needed and we headed to our next destination, home. We got inside, mum screaming that we should hurry up before they strike again. I wasn't feeling well so I told my brother to help her in the kitchen until I get back. I went to the bathroom, feeling very nauseous and dizzy. I looked at myself in the mirror thinking: what could make me feel better? My normal life back would be nice. While saying that to myself, I could hear that the third missile on it’s way. And I wasn't wrong.

I got out helped my mother, annoyed Adam a bit, cleaned the dirty dishes, and Voilà we finished. Food was ready and we were good to go. I asked mum if they can wait 10 more minutes for me to change my clothes and to grab what I need. She agreed. 

I went to my room and it was a mess. The amount of dirt and dust was unbelievable. We had no windows because they all broke down due to the war. I opened my closest and picked out a shirt and it looked like I just dug it up out of the ground. Everything else was like that too. Maybe I should just wash what I have, I thought. I sat down on my bed wondering what I wanted from my room and I realized I needed nothing. Why am I here? I feel like I’m missing something. I started getting really emotional.

Moments later, I felt like I was in the street. My sheets were too dusty, my books on the floor because of the wind. My stuff were scattered all over the place… It all made me want to cry. I started calming myself down. Telling myself it’s alright. This is just a phase that will end soon. While telling myself that I can feel that pain in my throat indicating that I’m going cry and that’s when the forth missile hit. At the moment I just lost it. I stared sobbing and crying my heart out. I couldn't even breath anymore. I felt like that’s it. I’m never having my normal life back. That this will never end. I started prying and apologizing for not appreciating what I had. That I’d give up everything to have just one day of my old life back… I felt weaker, like I was about to faint…
Seconds later mum came into my room asking me if I needed any help. I thanked her and we then left the house.

That was my day yesterday. A day I’ll never forget. It’s odd how just a second can change you, and flip your optimism upside down. A second that made me lose any hope I had left. But then again I’m not alone and God doesn't forget his people. I reminded myself that. I felt ashamed that I was losing my faith in what could be a test. Pry and he’ll hear you…just the thought of that calmed me a bit. No matter how tough it is it’ll eventually gets better he promised. I closed my eye, exhaled, and mumbled Alhumdlilah..